I don't care about my money or belongings. When I die, my one wish is to just make sure that nobody looks in the upper left dresser of my drawer.
— The unabridged will of Tommy Mathews, 1990-2006

Improvised Masturbation Devices or IMDs are the most common objects to be found in the drawers of adolescence and young adults aged 12-17 who have learned, with age, that the floor of their bedroom is a much better location to store socks and underwear both clean and soiled.


A member of the Westborow Baptist Church showing his appreciation for Improvised Masturbation Devices (Notice the regional spelling differences).

An IMD can be meant to replicate any part of a human body regardless of gender and can be fashioned from any variety of household object.


Angus MacGyver had to routinely shave the palms of his hands long before he could ever grow a beard on his face.

Gallery of Potential IMDsEdit

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